I got the results back from my 2nd trimester blood work and they raised a concern. Despite having the 1/10,000 result for Trisomy 21 (Downs) on the Harmony Test, this blood test said my risk is now 1/7. I try not to pay too much attention to that because I know that the Harmony Test is far more accurate. My Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor asked me to go in yesterday for an ultrasound to look for any soft markers that might indicate another chromosomal abnormality. Fortunately none was found.
But now I am tired, frustrated and confused. The MFM doctor still recommends an amnio. The genetic counselor tells me it is probably not Downs, but could be another chromosomal issue. She also told me that it could just be a false positive.
Monday was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Day. I did not realize it at the time so did not have a chance to light a candle for Sapphire, but I may do that tonight. The loss of Sapphire is weighing on my mind as I consider my options. An amnio would tell us 100% whether or not Lucky Charm has a problem. But there is a risk of miscarriage or fetal death. If this is just a false positive and I did the amnio but lost my little girl, I do not know how I would live with myself. I am so in love with her already.
Every day I walk by the classrooms of students with severe disabilities and that also weighs on my mind. I would not want to saddle my little girl with a life of major challenges if there is something wrong with her. I want what is best for her and yet, do not know what that is. I am so confused and frustrated that there is no easy answer.
Our gut feeling is that Lucky is just fine - a perfectly normal, healthy girl. I am trying to hold on to that and remain positive. But I am such a worrier by nature. It feels good to have this blog where I can type out my frustrations and fears and I am so thankful for the ladies of PgAL for their support and thoughts. I can't imagine being pregnant and not having a group of women like them for support.
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