One Year Ago

It is hard to believe that it was one year ago that I was in ER finding out that Sapphire had stopped growing. And here I am just 33 days from meeting my little girl Alexandra. It is a bittersweet kind of day. I woke up sad and have had a good cry over Sapphire, but am so thankful for my little girl's pokes and movements. Over the last year I have come to realize just how many women deal with loss and infertility. It is just so unfair that there are women who can't get their take home babies no matter how hard they try and how much money they spend. One of the girls I knew on the TTCAL board just had her 8th loss. I feel so sad and angry for her. And that makes me even more thankful for Alexandra. I wish miscarriage and infertility were more widely acknowledge and addressed by the public. And I wish for a day when fertility treatments do not cost a dime. To spend $10,000 for IVF and no guarantee of a take home baby is just criminal to me. So the good that has come from my loss a year ago is two-fold. First, it makes me even more thankful for the miracle inside me. Second, it makes me more sensitive to the plight of other women who just want to be able to hold their own child in their arms. I miss Sapphire and will always love him/her.